


Closer than Friends Less Than Lovers

by Eshtarwind



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Female Friendship, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-12 20:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18017567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshtarwind/pseuds/Eshtarwind
Summary: A slice of life story with loosely link chapters of Bandori girls, centering on Arisa and Saaya, after they graduate high school and now living as university students some prefectures away from home town. Overall just peaceful days. Not romance, by the way.





	1. Hound

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a prompt from writeworld tumblr: “You always manage to be the person everybody needs you to be.”

 

Ichigaya Arisa stuck her hand inside her duffle coat and raised her shoulder a bit, burying her face inside her red muffler. Her last class had ended an hour ago and she had enough of sitting by a couch in her laboratory building’s entrance all the time. She decided to walk out of the building for now, also realizing that one hour was quite long already. The moment she stepped out of her building’s automatic door, chill winter wind blew past her. Humidity was slightly high today. The wind was surprisingly not as cold as she thought it would be though it did not mean good news.

Her brown eyes looked up to low dark cloud looming overhead. It would soon snow. Today’s weather forecast said that around 5 PM they would have light snow. This year had been pretty warm though, so it might become a light rain instead. Whichever it was, Arisa knew that lingering longer around the university would not be good. She did not bring her umbrella today because she just shoved the thing into Toyama Kasumi’s bag’s side pocket this morning. That girl had forgotten her own umbrella, when she said she would have some club activities until night. Night time seems snow would turn into rain around 7 PM that would continue until the next morning. Going home in winter all wet certainly is not the smartest thing to do, not even by Kasumi. Arisa assumed she would go home sooner but even then…

She stomped her foot to the ground, getting rid of the chill that creeped up her inner _Heattech_ lining. She repeatedly checked the university gym, just a few meters away from where she was standing. The person she was waiting for still showed no sign of showing up. This always happened when she was not around. Why, because Yamabuki Saaya has zero ability of saying no to someone. Saaya actually had finished class earlier than Arisa. She said she would be helping her faculty mate from volleyball club on something, so they might go home together. Now it appeared Saaya instead was the one being held back.

Even in their university years, Saaya did not change. Being outgoing and dependable, she is very popular in her year. Unless Arisa was there hounding every other student off her best friend with her rather aggressive barks, Saaya would keep on accepting requests of help from basically anyone. With the three of them: Kasumi, Arisa, and Saaya, some prefecture away from their hometown, Saaya basically did not have her usual break lever—her family. When they were still in high school, Saaya could still say no so that she could go home and take care of her siblings or help her mother. Her parents basically supported her to go, when she decided she would go to university for culinary and nutrition. With her away from her family, she was basically “free” all day for anything people shoved at her. At least that was how Arisa saw what her best friend was becoming. Saaya never said a complaint and she said she was still able to do the stuff she wanted to do, or that she did it all because she wanted to. However, no matter what Arisa still think that the other students were getting bolder and bolder as time goes. They were using her. Saaya needed to learn to say no.

After graduating high school, Poppin’ Party decided not to disband, despite knowing that it would be harder to gather when they reached university. Hanazono Tae went to musical art college while Ushigome Rimi to a different university than Kasumi, Arisa, and Saaya. They were separated by several stations, but they could still, somehow, meet each other in the weekends or in between their classes. Kasumi had a relative around so she lived with them, while Arisa ended up renting a room together with Saaya. Sharing room rent is cheaper and besides Saaya seemed to welcome company, having used to siblings all her life. Sharing the same living space as Saaya, Arisa ended up knowing more than what she claimed she cared about her best friend.

Saaya is a good liar. Or rather, she is extremely adept at concealing her emotions. This would have been something Arisa knew since their high school years, but Arisa was not really aware of the extent of this until when they lived together. Although Saaya would say her opinion clearly when it was for the good of the group, when it was about her own benefit more often than not she would not say a thing. She would bottle up everything alone and put them behind her. Even when tired, Saaya rarely lost control of herself, always still putting others before her. It was her good points but it was also her weakness. It took quite a while until Arisa could notice the small change in her eyes or that slight curve of her lips when Saaya’s tired. That must not be healthy.

Arisa had enough of that. Today, too, she had enough of waiting for Saaya. She knew Saaya would just tell her to go home first but that beats everything. It was not she was tired of waiting for Saaya, she knew in truth she was tired of people shoving Saaya around.

Arisa was not fond of interacting with people she did not know well. She did not particularly have that many friends in her year as well. Her getting good marks did not help, people tend to think she was unapproachable. It was their lost anyway. She had decided she would care about people who cared about her. Saaya was one of those people that did. As much as a loner as she was, Arisa hates to lose those that was close to her.

Arisa opened the gymnasium front door and soon enough, she could hear the sound of the volleyball club’s voices. Among them, Saaya’s. The voices came from the main court so Arisa went there, opening main court’s double door to find Saaya and several girls of volleyball club tidying up nets. Others were mopping the court. They apparently had finished the practice or spar. Whichever it was.

“Ah. Arisa!”

“Yo.”

Saaya noticed her approaching from the side of the court and waved at her. She was in the middle of tidying the net. Arisa gave a light, casual wave of her hand in reply of Saaya but actually her eyes noticed more. She could see some of the club members looked at her with some degree of animosity. _You must have wanted to ask more help out of her don’t you._ Arisa groaned wearily in her mind. _It must be it._ They knew that if Arisa were to ask something, Saaya would put her in a certain degree of priority. In a way, just her being there would give Saaya a bit of reason to say no. These students definitely would not want that, would they. Arisa knew while Saaya was popular, Arisa was the exact opposite. She was in a way unpopular for hounding them away from Saaya. They at least still exchanged greetings however.

“I am sorry, did you finish your class already?” Saaya gave an apologetic smile. She bent the net she had in her hand to put them in its plastic container, which Arisa wordlessly took and helped opened for her. “Thank you. Sorry I took longer. You could have gone home earlier.”

“Kasumi took my umbrella.”

_So I had to go home with you. Don’t get any wrong idea._

There was no need for Arisa to say that, Saaya already knew what she meant to say—and also the real words behind that. Saaya smiled at her knowingly, along with a “Hnnn~”. Those made Arisa looked away, shoving the net plastic back to her best friend. She knew Saaya would say that she’s cute that way. She did not need that. Especially not when she wanted to show her fangs to the other students. Silently, standing by her place Arisa eyed as Saaya returned the net, also noticing how there were still mop lying around.

_Don’t tell me you want her to help mop the gym. Damn it._

“Thank you very much, Yamabuki. You’re a great help.”

“No, no problem. Anything else I can help?”

“Ah, today is… fine. Thank you.”

Saaya’s faculty mate took several glances at Arisa, who watched them over really closely. They were quite apart but Arisa could still hear their exchange. This was the critical moment. Hands in her pocket, Arisa exerted every amount of disapproval she could muster at the student, who clearly felt the pressure.

_Don’t you dare ask her do anything else._

“I see. I am glad I can be of help then.”

Faculty member returned her eyes on Saaya.

“But, ah, Yamabuki. Can you help us again this week on Thursday, though? It won’t be long, we need people to help around during the sparring so…”

_What?_

“Thursday?” Saaya cocked her head to the side. “What time?”

“Around 2, after lunch—”

_No._

“Saaya.”

One word, and her best friend turned around, giving an apologetic look and a, “ah, sorry, Arisa. Just a minute.”

Arisa could see the slight “winning” look at the eyes of the volleyball student. Annoyed, Arisa clicked her tongue under her muffler. Thursday. Certainly, Saaya is free after lunch, but didn’t she have that report for Friday? Also although unconfirmed, they might go out with Rimi for dinner. It was not impossible for Saaya but if she were to accept she would push herself a lot to finish that report at night…

“Thursday, eh… if around 2 then it will finish around 4?”

“Yes. I wonder if you could…”

_Saaya._

Now it was not about the student anymore. Arisa threw as much vibe as possible to Saaya’s back. _Don’t you dare take that request. Don’t you even dare._

“I… uh… I think I need to confirm something first,” Saaya said, before looking back towards Arisa. “Ah, Arisa, do Popipa have schedule in Thurs—”

“Yes.”

A glare back, and Saaya gave an apologetic smile. She looked back at her student said, “I am sorry… I don’t think it is possible, I have other matters to attend in Thursday. I am so sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I am sorry to have always asked you something.”

Those sweet, seemingly remorseful words felt like a lie, especially when the student threw a displeased look at Arisa after. Arisa did not bother being humble and not showing how proud she was for winning the fight. Saaya might not see that exchange, but Arisa still would want to tell those students to keep their request in moderate level. If keeping Saaya at least able to sleep a few hours more at night meant she needed to get several looks of displeasure, that was a small price to pay.

* * *

“Aa~ it really rains.”

“I told you it will! Hurry, your umbrella.”

“Patience, Arisa. Let me hold it, I am taller than you.”

“That last line is unnecessary.”

“It is for me. Fufufu..”

“Shut up.”

“Ahahahaaha…”

Their talk consisted of nothing but aimless banter during their walk to the train station. Saaya’s umbrella, despite being rather big, barely covered them both so they huddled quite close as they walk, not that they mind it. They had lived together for two years now, walking close side by side was nothing to sweat about. Stopping by the red lights, their aimless banter somehow went to a pause. Beeping sound of pedestrian light sounded really loud, backed by soft patter of rain on their umbrella. It was still quite small. Arisa noticed Saaya’s left shoulder was actually wet from the rain. She expectedly leaned the umbrella more to Arisa’s side. As always of her.

“… You waited for an hour. I am sorry for that.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She noticed. Well of course, she was one hour past the time she promised, which she clearly realized when she looked into her phone before they started walking. Saaya gave an apologetic smile. With the lights now almost gone from around her, her eyes turned a darker hue. Those eyes could always look past people’s façade, and deftly hide her own. It’s unfair. Arisa looked away from those eyes, glancing somewhere else.

“Also, I am sorry. I know you dislike it.”

“You’re too much of a pushover.”

“I know.”

“You should say no.”

“I know.”

“You idiot.”

“Ahahaha…” Saaya did look apologetic. She gave a smile. “… I can’t help it.”

_I know you can’t. I know that best._

“That is why you’re an idiot.”

She only laughed. The beeping sound of pedestrian walk from the other side of the road stopped. Now the rain’s pitter patter was the one that filled the several second of gap in their conversation.

“You’re kind, Arisa.”

“Ha?! I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Your face’s red. That’s cute.”

“Am not!”

Arisa buried her face in her muffler, glancing at a puddle by the side of the road. Anywhere but her best friend’s eyes. Without even looking, Arisa knew her best friend was smiling her usual knowing smile.

“You could have had more friends if only you leave me be.”

The pedestrian light changed into green. They started walking.

“I mean… I don’t dislike the favors, they are in need of help and I have time, so…”

“That is why they will keep bothering you.”

“They don’t bother…”

“Pushing your schedule behind for them, that’s bothering, Saaya.”

“I can manage. I mean…”

“You can’t please everyone.”

Arisa finally looked beside her, to the eyes of her slightly taller friend. Saaya gave a rather apologetic chuckle, her free index finger clumsily scratched her cheek. That finger looked wet. Of course, the left side of her coat was drenched already. Saaya was always like that. She always stood by the road side and when they were under the same umbrella she would somehow lean the umbrella to whoever it was with her. In a way, she was too much of a gentleman that Arisa at times wonder if there would be room for anyone to break it.

Despite saying that Saaya could not please anyone, Arisa knew that it was a kind of lie in itself from her side.

Saaya always managed to be someone everyone wants her to be.

“I guess I cannot please you with how everything goes.”

“If you know that, why don’t you start trying then?”

“A-Ahahahaha…” Another one of those apologetic chuckles. Arisa sighed. Well, not that she did not understand. Saaya is Saaya after all.

“I.. uh… I try.”

Saaya’s voice was almost inaudibly low. She said again, however.

“I really do. I don’t want to bother you all the time too.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking.”

“Like today, I know you always help me out by being there beside me. I appreciate that, Arisa. But… I don’t like how everyone looks at you. You don’t mean that way, I know, but…”

“I don’t care what they think of me.”

They have had this conversation before. There was a time where Arisa basically actually stood between Saaya and her friend who kind of wanted to coerce her to some committee meetings. It was Saaya’s choice and her rights but Arisa just could not stand there seeing her friend being used. That was their first major fight between each other ever since they moved together. Upon being back at the apartment, Arisa remembered how they argued and went to each other’s room. Only the next morning when they actually talked about it slowly. From then on, Arisa knew Saaya had tried to prioritize “her” a bit more and would say no to some of the more outrageous requests, but Saaya really needed to be more selfish. That said, Arisa had tried to step away from Saaya’s affairs as well, instead of stepping in directly. It was too late though. Arisa was already quite disliked by some of Saaya’s yearmate.

“I mean… you could have made friends with them too…”

“No need. I am not interested in many if I can have few that I really care.”

“Ari—”

“I have you anyway.”

Their steps stopped. Arisa turned back, kind of wondering why Saaya suddenly just stopped walking. Her best friend’s face made her heart skipped. Saaya was stupefied, her mouth half opened without a single word coming out. Only a bit later when Arisa realized what made Saaya.exe stopped working.

“W-Wait! You get the wrong—”

“Arisaaaaaa!”

The hug Saaya did literally pushed air out of Arisa’s lung, pushing her face into her best friend’s shoulder.

“No, wait! Ugh! Don’t fucking hug me!”

“Arisaaaaaaaaaaaaa! That’s what you think of me!!!!”

“Let me go! You’re not Kasumi!!! SAAYA!”

“I am so happy!!!”

“Let me goooooooo!!!!!”

“Arisaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~!!!”

“GAAAAAAAH!!!”

It took a while until Saaya finally let her go. Arisa groaned audibly, straightening her coat and her muffler trying to hide her own blush to no avail. Saaya’s blue eyes sparked so brightly and she huffed excitedly with this bright, happy smile. It… had been a while since she saw Saaya looked childishly happy like this. Like when they went to buy her a new drum. This sound strange but Arisa was slightly happy she was at least the same level of adorable as a drum kit in Saaya’s eyes.

Embarrassed, annoyed, yet elated all mashed into one, Arisa finally let out her protest.

“What the hell, Saaya! This is public road!”

“But you’re being too cute!”

“HA?! Stop spouting nonsense!”

“Aaawwwww, but look at you now!”

“Enough! We’re going home!”

Completely ignoring the rain, Arisa started walking faster and Saaya quickly caught up to her, half-laughing as she tried to keep the umbrella shielding Arisa from the rain. Saaya’s chuckles lasted a few minutes longer and the beam of her happiness even more. Although grumbling, Arisa could feel it also lifted her own mood. Seeing that smile made her realized it was the exact reason why she did not care about all those disapproving eyes directed at her. Saaya had protected the heart of so many people, it was fair to have someone to protect her back. Arisa knew more than anyone how Saaya always manages to be someone everyone needs her to be. Thus, she would like to be someone to complement the part Saaya could not be. Just a little bit.


	2. Bonenkai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December is a hectic year for university. Not only they have to catch up to rushed homework, there would also be end of year parties. Parties are usually fine, but in parties there would be alcohol. This is where things start to have problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my own experience during end of year season and also my own experience with my best friend, who had been there throughout my entire undergraduate year.

Bonsai appreciation club end of year drinking party in a sashimi-sushi shop.

Alcohol glasses already reached its second round now and the 2nd serving of sashimi combination platter had been wiped out. The talk, which started out pretty formal with a greeting from club president, now had turn lively with laughter and jokes being thrown around. In their age, where most of the 2nd and 3rd year student just reaching twenty this year, most were in the phase of trying out liquors. Some had started to choose the more questionable named drink like the “Electric” Liquor, whatever that was. Ichigaya Arisa herself did not exactly understand or appreciate the taste of liquor that much yet so she settled with lime alcoholic drinks. The boys already reached their 2nd glasses. Most of them seem to be heavy drinkers. Only some of them had a change of expression, even if their mood visibly had elevated.

Bonsai Appreciation club in their university was not big. To be honest Arisa did not believe it existed at first. Perhaps because their university had agriculture and art faculties, that was why a Bonsai club even existed in the first place. It only had a dozen members, with more than half being female. As expected, most of the members had other club other than the bonsai appreciation club, making the club more like a place to hang out and talk rather than actually a club. It was a miracle how they actually could pull off bonsai exhibit every year for the university festival. That said, the only thing they should do was just bringing their bonsais to display anyway. Carrying them was what needed a bit of work. A rental car was all they needed in the end though. In the end the club was not that close-knit, but also not that distant. Just the right kind of distance for Arisa.

 “Oh yes, Ichigaya. Aren’t you from the same high school as Yamabuki?”

The question that came up from a 4th year upperclassman was quite unexpected.

Arisa and the upperclassman sat at the end most of the table, giving them room to actually not getting dragged into a three ways conversation that went on between the middle groups. That group had started to talk about bowling for some reason.

The upperclassman sipped his drinks, smiling.

A question about Saaya. As expected of the very popular Yamabuki Saaya, even the super uninteresting Bonsai Club knew about her.

Usually if anyone had wanted to ask anything about Saaya they just went and asked the more approachable Toyama Kasumi of the liberal arts instead. It was wise of them to do that. Not only Arisa seemed unapproachable given her reputation as top grader and “Saaya’s overprotective friend”, Arisa most probably would not answer to their liking for most of the time anyway. Like now. This upperclassman may not know her infamous reputation though, unlike her own yearmate. Perhaps that was why he asked her at all.

Arisa knew her upperclassman quite well. He was not a bad person and even leaned to the more trustworthy type of person. But Arisa could not help that feeling which tightened her stomach whenever anyone asked about Saaya.

“Yes, I am. What about it?”

Even if he was her upperclassman, Arisa could not erase that slight rather defensive tone from her voice.

“Has Yamabuki always been that popular? Even in high school?”

“She always has many friends, if that is what you are asking.”

“Heee~ Is that so~”

He did not seem surprised. He must have asked that just to open conversation. A fellow 4th year student heard their talk and lightly joined, “Oh?  Oh? Ichigaya, you’re from the same high school as that Yamabuki from nutrition?”

“Yes, I—Wait, how do you know her, anyway?”

“Yamabuki Saaya, right? She helped out our mandolin club last time. My girlfriend from the horse riding club also knows her.”

_Mandolin? Horse riding? Why the heck could you even be there?_

She knew Saaya is really outgoing and all but Arisa thought there exists certain level of “normal” outgoing. At this rate, it seemed even the janitor would have known “Yamabuki Saaya of nutrition lab”.

With Saaya’s personality, though that was a probability. She was always popular with the elderlies.

“Yamabuki helped out my research project for my product’s sensory analysis,” the first upperclassman continued. “Her name had been around in the faculty though. My Professor seemed to like her too. We talked a bit and she seem like a very interesting girl.”

_A very interesting girl._

Answering with a rather disinterested “heee~” Arisa sipped her drinks. Usually that was the beginning of what would be romance advances. Ever since they reached university, it almost seemed as if having a girlfriend or boyfriend some kind of a must to be a normal university student. The exploration of freedom, of a taste of “adulthood”, during university is a stark difference from their rather peaceful (to a degree) high school life. Arisa herself had had several other students making advances at her, but it was no match to the many people flocking for Saaya’s attention. It was more because Saaya was too welcoming, too easy to get close to. People, especially men, often caught the wrong message. These people did not know though that Saaya perhaps should have been a last boss or a last route you pick for a romance visual novel. Only do it, after you know most of the other routes.

Saaya might have been easy to get close to as a friend and she could be very engaging, very comforting companion but that was all. Breaking over that high thick wall of “friendship” into Saaya’s inner line of defense is a tough task. Arisa knew more than anyone just how hard it was to break inside. All of Poppin’ Party members perhaps would agree with her in this. Let alone as lovers, even as close friends it took a lot to be in the level they were at the moment.

“Does she have any lover? It does not seem like she does.”

_I knew it._

Giving a courteous smile, Arisa prepared herself for a conversation she had had numerous times before. Perhaps she should have another sip of her drinks. Maybe with a bit of alcohol in her system, she would become slight bit friendlier, for the sake of her relationship with her upperclassman. She was not that positive about it though.

* * *

Sound of keyboard typing and ticking clock. Sitting half-leaning to her bed in front of a foldable low table with laptop open, Saaya took a printed journal, reading it for a while, and reread the sentences she had typed for her gastronomic physiology class. It seemed to agree with each other well, so she continued her typing, dropping off citation where it is appropriate. The deadline for this report was tonight at 11:59 PM so she should be pushing herself a little bit more. That said she was already reaching later half of the report. Taking deep breath, Saaya held a tired sigh in.

End of year was always hectic. Everyone rushed to finish everything before the year ended. This situation included clubs and even classes. Once they reached winter holiday it would be too late to do anything. No one would be available to work at all. After new year passed, there would be this downtime where everyone had to be dragged to work again and thus adrenaline rush December was usually the moment where every important thing wrapped up. However, at the same time, people hang out at night for end of year party—making time for multiple groups merely for end of year party could take up entire week. Saaya had been asked to attend multiple club’s end of year party here and there even if she had not been an official member simply because she had helped them out throughout the year. It was hard to say no to many of them and it was rude to do so, but after a week of endless end of year party, Arisa put a stop to it—forcibly. Saaya could not find any excuse. Being of legal age, drinking during the party was almost a social requirement. Saaya had tried to only drink moderately each time but during inescapable situation sometimes she just had to down more than 2-3 glasses. It did not help when she had two parties in tandem at one day. The moment she drank 7 was when Arisa was called. Arisa basically fetched her out of a bar dead drunk at 2 AM in the morning. Arisa, who had shown strong disapproval throughout the week, finally could not hold it in anymore.

During that very miserable day where hangover also stick to Saaya like a persistent poison in her head and stomach, she got scolded really bad by her own housemate. On top of it, she had to deal with unfinished report. In the end, she was forced to reject the rest of end of year parties, except those that involved professors, by saying she was physically unwell. That was not a lie, however. All those liquors could not be good for her body. Arisa who took care of her for two days after that would have a say if she said otherwise.

Reading gastronomic physiology made her remembered that time, which happened only a few days ago. She threw up in the living room, unable to hold it back until the toilet. Arisa had to drag her to her room and changed her clothes because she was unable to do that alone in her condition. On top of it she started to bawl for no reason while saying intelligible things, not letting Arisa go until she fell asleep at around 4-5 AM. Saaya’s memories around that was blurred at best but she did remember at least the throwing up part. Arisa’s face the next day was something Saaya would love to just not remember. It was a mix of anger, worry, and hurt. More than her words, Arisa’s tone pierced Saaya like no other. Needless to say, Saaya could only apologize and obediently listen to Arisa’s scolding.

Saaya glanced at her alarm clock on her bed’s side table. 10 PM. She checked her smartphone placed beside her laptop. No message. Perhaps she could assume than everything went well with Bonsai Club’s end of year party?

Saaya could not say she was a strong drinker, but she did not dislike the taste of liquor and could hang around several glasses of light beer if need be. Arisa would rather not have one if she could, and she was even weaker to it than Saaya. Saaya had kept her phone with her all the while in outdoor mode in case anything happened but up until now no message came. Bonsai Club sound like a tame club anyway. It could not be worse than Soccer club.

Back to typing for several more minutes, she thought she could hear something—the sound of the front door being opened.

“I am home.”

Spoken in lower key than usual and a bit slurred, Arisa’s voice reached her room.

“Welcome back.”

Saaya stood up, peeking out of her bedroom’s door to check on Arisa’s condition. Arisa had just finished hanging her coat on the rack near the entrance. Their apartment was small. After small entrance and a kitchen, they had a small living room which connected to both of their room—which was located side by side, the bathroom, and the veranda. Thus, even from where she was standing Saaya could see Arisa’s face clearly. Her best friend’s face was red but she seemed to be in good control of herself. They met eyes and Arisa raised her hand nonchalantly, “Yo.”

She appeared a bit sleepy.

“How was it?”

“T’was fine. A bit of talk. The usual.”

“I see. Glad that went well.”

“Yeah.”

Silence came after that, with Arisa dropping her shoulder and started to make her way towards their refrigerator, probably to have some mineral water. Since everything seemed well, Saaya went back in, facing her laptop again. Just a little bit more on the discussion part of the report, then she could finally be free of the report and have a nice sleep.

“Saaya.”

Her bedroom door, which was half-opened from the start, creaked open wider.

“Hnn?” Saaya glanced at her journal first before looking up to Arisa who stepped inside her bedroom. Her face looked a bit bleary with this proximity. Perhaps she had two drinks.

“Can I stay here for a while?”

“Sure.”

It was not unusual for both of them to frequent each other’s room. With the years of them being together, they trust each other enough that they never locked their bedroom door. Both had always knocked before going in and at times they did not even close their bedroom door at all, Saaya especially. Saaya used to have Sana and Jun barging into her room at night. A sudden company into her room was no problem, she even thought it was adorable. Thus, she did not mind it at all when Arisa came to her room. Unlike her siblings however, most of the time Arisa did not come to her room for a talk or to play at all. Like now.

Saaya did not need to look behind to know Arisa had lie down on her bed. She might even curl herself up there already. She could feel Arisa’s eyes on her, but it was fine. Her presence was comfortable. Even the attention was comfortable. They had been with each other long enough, accepting each other was as natural as drinking water.

With the warm gaze on her back enveloped her like a comfortable blanket, Saaya continued her report again. Slightly smiling this time.

* * *

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe she was just sleepy. Arisa did not really know. But after the talk with her upperclassman, a sudden sinking feeling settled in her stomach. Did Saaya herself desire something else? Was she happy? Unsatisfied? Content? Lonely? Saaya never really said anything about how she felt and she always smiled, like always. Arisa thought she knew everything about Saaya at this moment. She could notice when Saaya was down even if other Popipa members did not. She had the confidence to say that between the four of them she had spent the most hours together, saw things other did not, shared and depended on things others member could not experience. They were together whenever one of them were ill, they were together whenever anything happened in their family, in their personal life. However, in the end she could not be sure if she could look past everything. After all, Saaya is strong, intelligent, and perceptive. Saaya could have had hid some amount of pain and Arisa perhaps would not notice it. Arisa could not even be sure what she did for her friend was actually right or not.

The moment when Saaya was dead drunk, what bothered Arisa the most was not that she had to tidy up everything or take care of her best friend. When Saaya started to break down during her wasted state, crying while grabbing her arms, that was what shocked her the most. Did she have anything more that she didn’t say? Was that merely because she was drunk, or was there anything that bothered her? It bugged her. It bugged her even more with the knowledge that Saaya most likely bottle things up again for someone else.

Listening to others expressing their interest in Saaya made Arisa felt this strange feeling of desperation. They liked her because she is good at cooking? Because she is good at taking care of people? Because she is dependable? Because she is smart? Cute? Kind? Kind of cool? Want to have a girlfriend that can drum? All of their eyes showed the same things: mild interest, playfulness. A look of a hunter upon seeing a game they would like to try hunting. Lighthearted curiosity.

Arisa knew that it was bad of her to start judging someone else’s feelings just by a simple talk and a look into the eyes but she could not help it. She could not help to feel like screaming.

_Don’t touch my best friend with such lighthearted feelings._

It might have been unhealthy for her to even think that way but she could not help it. What if, she felt, just what if these people had just wanted to flock around, just to play around? To try out? To taste? What if they did that, only to later leave her? What if they found out how heavy it was to even be beside her and started to turn and go?

_Don’t you know how kind she is? How far she would extend her hand for someone else? How much she would hold her own desire for people she cared? How far would she try to delude you just to make you feel alright? And just how… selfless she is as a person?_

Saaya was kind and she was able to do so many things. She could survive alone if she wanted to, yet she chose to be with Popipa. She chose to support them all and she chose to play in the band with them. Did those people even know just what a wonderful feeling it was, being chosen by her? Did those people even know what a blessing it was to feel needed by her? To be a part of her self? To be able to do something for her sake? Did they even know…

Just how… _how…_

_… how I want you to be happy._

_How I want you to have someone who will love you, cherish you._

_… Have someone kind as your partner. Have someone who can protect you. Someone who will not use your kindness. Who will not misuse your tolerance. Who will not betray your trust…_

“Arisa?”

She must be drunk. Yes, it must be it. Her vision blurred and the light started to dim.

Gentle hand grasped hers, and she could feel someone gently pat her head.

“Are you okay?”

She could not see anymore but she grasped back that warm hand. It’s slightly calloused, yet gentle.

_This hand… it must be Saaya’s._

Also the one that pat her head. It felt nice and comforting. Reassuring. The same hand that had nursed her when she was ill, the hand that cooked her food when she was tired, the hand that comfort her when she was sad. The same hand that had kept the beat of their music; someone who was always watching, observing, gently supporting them from behind.

_Really. Those people… They don’t know… they don’t understand._

_... what a privilege it is, to be close to you._

* * *

This was why Arisa dislike being drunk. She woke up not in her own room, but unmistakably in Saaya’s; covered in Saaya’s blanket and snuggled into Saaya’s favorite cushion still in her outdoor clothes. Light headache weighted her head and she slowly sat up, groaning. She could not understand just why the heck people love liquor so much. It was not even delicious to the tongue, and the after effect was this kind of awful feelings. She could still feel the alcohol settling in her stomach.

This was not the first time for Arisa to sleep in Saaya’s bed and vice versa. Sometimes they just chat in one of the rooms, fell asleep accidentally, and thus whoever still awake would have to sleep in the other room. That must be what happened last night as well.

“Ah, Arisa. Good morning.”

“Morn’…”

Unlike her, Saaya already woke up and was just sitting inside the kotatsu facing the television set, still in her pajama. From the look of tamagoyaki, rice, and miso soup on top of the kotatsu, she clearly had been awake for quite a while.

“How’re you feeling?”Saaya asked lightly. Somehow, she looked brighter than usual today. That made Arisa, on the contrary, felt rather miserable especially with her hangover.

“… My head hurt,” Grunting, Arisa started walking to her room. She stopped midway though and turned to Saaya. “Also, sorry for taking your bed.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” The brunette smiled. Her blue eyes sparkled as her expression softened. “Besides, you were cute last night.”

“… ha?”

 _Wait, what?_ Arisa felt blood drained off her face. _Last night? What happened last night?_ But Saaya already returned her attention to the television, either not realizing her expression or just ignoring it.

“I already cooked you some breakfast. Go and have it after you changed.”

“Well, thank you—but no, wait, what did you say?”

“Breakfast?”

“No, no. I mean before that.”

“Good morning?”

“No!”

 This was not good. This was so not good. Especially with that mischievous knowing smile on Saaya’s face. That really did not mean good.

“I did something strange last night, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t, though?”

“Saaya!”

“Really, you didn’t.”

“That face meant yes, I did!”

“Ahahahahaha… well, maybe you did.”

“E-eh?! What did I do?!”

“Secret.”

“Saaya!!”

Her best friend laughed heartedly. Arisa started to get annoyed, but strangely, Saaya's eyes looked warmer than usual. Kinder. Not that she was ever be anything but kind, but today's Saaya somehow felt exceptionally gentler.

“Enough now, go on, change. I will warm up your breakfast again while you’re at it.”

“But you’d better tell me what happened. Like seriously you’d better do!”

“Hnn~~ I wonder~~”

In the end Saaya didn’t tell her what happened last night, although she convinced her that it was nothing really embarrassing. There must be something however, but Arisa could not remember it at all. It did not seem like Saaya would ever tell her what happened, and that look in her face that seemed like she was enjoying it, made Arisa even more annoyed.

This was why she hated being drunk. Who said Yamabuki Saaya was an angel. She was surely more than capable to be an S.


	3. Cosmos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking with a faculty friend of hers reminds Saaya of things which led to her current life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wanted to just stop writing this fic, but then I thought I should drop something from Saaya POV, as I have been writing from Arisa POV all the time. Also, Japanese is really keen on flower meaning, or "Hanakotoba" for some reason. So I drop a bit of it here, just because. I think the meaning of the flower suits Arisa very well.

Yamabuki Saaya stopped her steps in front of an accessory shop, quite suddenly. Her eyes caught sight of a hairpin with violet cosmos pattern between assortment of other hairpins displayed. The hairpin was simple, but the violet cosmos pattern looked especially neat and beautiful. She took it in her hand rather unconsciously, bringing it closer to her eyes to see it better.

“Saaya-chan, you like hairpin too?”

“Oh, this?”

Saaya’s faculty friend, Midori, looked over her shoulder, wondering why she stopped.

“Ah. I just thought this will look good on Arisa.”

“Arisa…? Oh, Ichigaya-san?”

“Don’t you think so?” Saaya smiled, turning around to show her friend the hairpin. “It’ll definitely look good on her.”

“Hee… I guess it will.”

There was almost no mistaking the uncertain voice Midori made. Perhaps her friend did not even have that much impression of Arisa. After all, nutrition building was quite away from the molecular biology building. All of her faculty friends had met Arisa once or twice, because Saaya at times went home together with Arisa or rather had Arisa dragged her home. The friend with her today was her faculty friend and also fellow baseball club managers. Because she shared the same club with Saaya, she had met Arisa quite a lot of time. Today they were out together to the city’s marketplace to look for baseball club’s supply. It would be great if they could get everything together before the practice in late afternoon.

Nodding as if to confirm how it would definitely look good on Arisa, Saaya put the hairpin back to its display case then turned back, facing her friend.

“Okay! Let’s go!”

“Eh? You won’t buy it?”

“Nnn~ We still have to look for baseball club consumables, right? Sorry to hold you up.”

“Eh? I am fine, it’s only waiting for cashier after all.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Saaya’s eyes swept the store for a while. She smiled, fondly remembering her housemate. “Rather than an item that suits her, Arisa will be happier to have matching accessories.”

“He?”

“Okay, let’s go! Gotta go back before practice!”

* * *

“Ahchooo!”

Arisa pushed her mouth and nose with her arm to subdue her sudden sneeze. She was wearing surgical mask anyway and wore her lab jacket as she was preparing to work on her research, so even if she did not do that it won’t be that much of a bother to her surroundings. It was more of a reflex movement. Her lab mate turned to see her.

“Cold, Ichigaya? Don’t push yourself.”

“Nah. I’m fine. Maybe something got in.”

Strange. Arisa looked around her lab. It did not seem like there were much dust around too…

Maybe someone was talking about her or something. Not that she believed in such tales though, to be honest.

* * *

Shouts and sound of baseball club practicing can be heard from the field. Saaya and Midori sat by the bench surrounded by the boys’ bags and stuff. Midori had the first aid kit box opened on her lap and a notebook as she was taking a note on their inventory, while Saaya sewed a slightly ripped shirt belonging to one of the baseball members. With all the boys out there doing physical training and they had basically nothing to do but sitting and finishing their already half-finished managerial work, it felt like time went on slowly. With no immediate tournament, days with baseball club was almost always this slow. To be honest, Saaya rather liked it. She had always like watching baseball, being a manager in one was fun. Although their team did not have that much of a high goal, everyone thoroughly enjoyed what they do. That was the most important thing anyway.

“Saaya-chan, you… are really in good terms with Ichigaya-san, huh.”

Finding Midori watching her, Saaya raised her eyebrows at Midori’s question. She laughed.

“Well, I guess of course? We have known each other since high school after all.”

Although now that Saaya thought of it, they could have known each other since middle school if only Arisa actually went to school that time. The mysterious Ichigaya Arisa who had never gone to school filled the first place. They even thought she was but a myth. Finding her actually existing was a relief. If Saaya said that to Arisa, she would definitely be scolded though. That said angry Arisa could be cute. The way Arisa blushed after every tease was always amusing. Her expressions always flipped from one to another so fast, her emotions must be busy all the time. Just thinking about that made Saaya smiled.

“Hmm~ I thought it must be more than that.”

“Well, we are in the same band too.”

“Oh yes, that band, you told me once,” Midori clicked her finger. “Poppin’…?”

“Poppin’ Party, Popipa.”

“Popipa!” Midori repeated, seemingly amused. “I always think it sounds both fun and cute at the same time.”

“Speaking of that, Arisa made that name.”

“Eh? Ichigaya-san?! No way!”

Midori’s shocked face made Saaya laughed again.

“Doesn’t sound like it?”

“Really doesn’t sound like it…” Midori dropped her shoulder. “She did? That Ichigaya-san?”

Saaya smiled at her words. Stifling her laughter, she asked in amusement, “Just what kind of image do you have of Arisa?”

Midori made a difficult face. She raised her index finger like counting.

“I first met her when she waited for you at the gate, no? That time she seemed just okay. Cute and refined. I thought she was from some kind of high-class family. After that she came here several times, right? All the time she always looked so grumpy. Remember that time she dragged you to go home? She also was the one who came to the faculty and just stood there glaring to the end of year party committee.”

Saaya laughed. Arisa totally did not manage to show any kind of good impression. True, the only time Arisa came to the faculty was when she would go home together with Saaya, who often got caught up on something. Usually Arisa would just wait patiently by the gate but as Saaya get more and more caught up, she intervened once or twice.

“Really, at times I wonder how do you even manage to be close to someone so grumpy and impatient,” Midori furrowed her eyesbrows. “That is why I am curious.”

“Arisa isn’t always grumpy,” Saaya said while laughing. She returned her eyes back to her swing. “And she isn’t impatient at all. She is one of the most considerate persons I know.”

“Eh?”

Saaya looked at Midori and gave a rather sad smile.

“Instead I think I have been depending on her kindness way too much.”

“No way!”

“No, really,” the brunette smiled. She continued sewing. “… Arisa really has helped me so much.”

* * *

During the third year of high school when they were deciding on which university to go, Saaya was torn. The one that bugged her the most was undoubtedly her family, especially her mother. As a family they talked about it numerous times and Saaya understood her parents would like her to go. Saaya felt she had been quite selfish in her first year of high school by deciding to be in Poppin’ Party, even though it turned out that she could do everything well. She did not feel right to push yet another one of her wishes and it weighted heavily on her. Saying that she would stay or that she would not was getting harder.

Poppin’ Party talked about their respective university as well, as it would affect their activities. They talked of where they want to go, if it was possible to keep their activity, also the possible hiatus. In the end everyone, in their own pace, decided by her own. During the gap of time when everyone started to study for exam and Poppin’ Party ceased their training for some time, Arisa confronted her on their way back from school. During that time, most of them were already clear in what they would like to do, but Saaya still gave rather unclear answer whenever the topic surfaced. Kasumi would talk about possibilities of still meeting and still doing band while finding exciting things in their new life—as expected of Kasumi. Tae only gave one or two sentences, but Saaya could feel her eyes swept her place time to time as she was the only one who had not said anything. Rimi had a long talk with her sister and finally decided her university firmly, supporting Kasumi on how amazing it would be if they would be able to continue finding new things together in a brand new place. Arisa did not say anything much and somehow the rest of Popipa did not really bug her in that question. They kind of knew Arisa would not have that much problem with examination while her mute meant she had nothing of worries to talk about. She had been quiet, until the time she suddenly confronted Saaya.

“I will not force you to say anything but do know we will be here to listen to you.”

Arisa stopped and uncharacteristically looked into Saaya’s eyes. The orange light of setting sun made her bright brown eyes appeared almost amber. Saaya could only gave a weak smile.

“… you’re kind, aren’t you.”

“Knowing you, you will most likely not say anything to us, though.”

Saaya had nothing to answer Arisa’s words. Continuing with, “well, do it however you like.” Arisa waved to her a bit and continued walking. She stopped after a few steps though, and turned back to Saaya who still stayed by her place.

“I’m saying this just because, but… we don’t wanna hear what you think you should do. We wanna know what you wanna do. I am sure that is what your parents wanna hear too.”

Silence fell between them for some second. They met eyes, and somehow that time, looking into Arisa’s light brown eyes made her said, “… You really are kind.” yet again. This time Arisa blushed, clicking her tongue and looking away.

“I-I don’t…”

“Maybe I should use that kindness for a while?”

“Eh?”

Saaya gave a weak smile.

“I guess there are things I cannot think about alone.”

Something was different about Arisa compared to other members when it was about looking after the band. Of course, each member of Popipa has her own characteristics and approach, but for Saaya often time Arisa was the one that gave her comfort the most, that made her felt they both saw situation under the same light. Arisa saw the band as whole more than anyone and looked after each other more than anyone. Unlike the others, Arisa also had the tendency to support from behind indirectly, instead of pulling the others forward, although she had enough assertiveness to make decisions when it is required. With Arisa, Saaya felt like she could walk in her own pace instead of flowing along with someone’s. Although there were indeed some things that could not be understood unless said, Arisa could feel things and understand Saaya without much words. Saaya knew Arisa was quite lenient on her and she was grateful about that. That was why, with the years of them knowing each other, she felt like she could rely on her. Arisa perhaps also did not look like it, but Saaya trusted Arisa’s judgment on many things. Arisa could be difficult when it came to being honest, but she always managed to be courageous and said what should be said at the right time. Arisa had something Saaya did not have, yet also shared the same traits that made them able to understand each other.

Thus was why that day, Saaya finally told Arisa about everything in the basement where Popipa used to train together. She talked about her future choices, her worries, her doubts, and finally, what she wanted to do. Arisa only quietly listened, dropping “I see” “Yes” and so on. After Saaya finished saying everything, they spent the time in comfortable silence. Saaya had pretty much laid out everything, the advantages, disadvantages, what she felt about each of her choices. She had heard many opinions, she even heard of the fellow Poppin’ Party’s opinion on her choices, even if those are rather indirectly. Kasumi’s bright eyes, Rimi’s bashful look, Tae’s silent trust. She only needed one push, that one last push… and somehow that had always been what burdened her the most. Her biggest question always hovered around what she felt her heart would feel most comfortable of.

“Ya know…”

As usual, Arisa’s words were rough and unrefined. That was her speaking style after all. All Popipa members had grown used to it, and grown used to the kindness in that voice, no matter how rude it sounded. That time, Arisa certainly sound kinder than always.

“You know, Saaya. You… looked super happy when you finally played that drum in our first live. Or when you bought the new drum kit. Or when you played unhinged at the beach. As a friend, I… uh… l-liked seeing your face looked that bright.”

Saaya could only blinked. Arisa did not meet her eyes and turned away somewhere else, but she dropped her voice lower.

“You always look after us and put us as your priority. It’s… refreshing to see you… so free and happy.”

Her best friend paused.

“I am sure the others and your family feel the same happiness as I do, seeing your happiness. If not more.”

**_We want to know what you want to do._ **

When Saaya finally talked to her family about her decision, the look in her mother and father’s faces made her realized what Arisa said to her was right.

“You always talk about someone else, we want you to be kind to yourself as well.”

After the national examination result were out, Poppin’ Party gathered in the basement to finally reveal their results. All of Poppin’ Party members were elated with Saaya’s decision, but the star of the day was not only Saaya, it was Arisa. Everyone knew Arisa had the ability to be in whatever university she wanted to if she just wished for it. She was intelligent enough to ace the examination. Yet even then, she revealed rather nonchalantly how she enrolled to the same university as Saaya and Kasumi. Arisa only looked away and blushed, saying it would be troublesome if she picked other university, plus its molecular biology was not that bad after all and that she was looking for a particular professor and other excuses. Everyone did not need that however. They understood what she didn’t say after all. That day Poppin’ Party hugged each other in one big hug once again.

* * *

“If Arisa did not talk to me that day, I will not be in this university,” Saaya chuckled, finishing her sewing. Midori wide-eyed listened to her talking. “Thanks to Arisa I managed to make my decision, and I really did not regret it at all.”

“Heeeee…” Midori blinked. “Listening to you, she really sounds like a caring person. I can’t imagine it. Like when she came here the other day, I legit thought she would hit someone.”

Saaya laughed again. She tidied the shirt she had sewn, setting it aside.

“Arisa can be quite troublesome like that.”

“You’re not bothered? She looks like she controls your life.”

“Eeeeh? Is that how it seems?” Saaya blinked at Midori’s words. Midori poked Saaya and said, “Don’t you realized it? She sounds like those controlling girlfriend whenever she came to drag you out.”

“Aaah… that,” Saaya laughed again. It would have appeared that way, wouldn’t it, to others. Of course, they would not have known their argument at home, which basically just Arisa frustratingly telling her she had to take care of herself. “She is just worried about me. She can be a worry-wart at times. Those times she dragged me out is usually when I had been quite tired the day before or something. We shared apartment, so she knows whenever I look tired.”

“W-Wait, what? You’re sharing the same apartment?”

“Eh, you didn’t know?”

“I don’t!”

“Heee…”

“I thought Saaya-chan lives alone!”

“Ahahaha well,” Saaya laughed apologetically. “Things happened before we come here so…”

* * *

After they knew their university, time came where they had to look for apartment. A lot of ideas were poured, such as living in the same apartment complex, and so on. However, considering their different circumstances, such as the fact that Tae and Rimi’s college and university were quite away from Kasumi’s, Arisa’s, and Saaya’s, in the end they had to pick places more comfortable for each of them. Kasumi had her relatives, so she stayed with them instead. Saaya found several apartment complexes and was sitting by her room flipping pages looking for options when Jun and Sana came in. Upon hearing that her sister would go far, Jun did not talk to her for two days. He was old enough to understand the situation, so he knew about her choice to continue to university. That could not be helped. When he finally talked to her that day, however, Jun looked more serious than ever and told her, that she should do what she wanted and not worry about the family because Jun would definitely look after Sana and their mother. As she hugged her siblings, saying thank you to their understanding, and eventually left the brochures to play with them, she realized just how empty her life would be without them.

Saaya had never lived anywhere without her siblings, it was part of her life.

She had found several apartments in several suitable locations but they were too big or too expensive alone. Saaya knew she did not want to burden her parents even more. In the end, she found herself staying behind after Poppin’ Party’s training by Arisa’s basement. That time, after the others had left, only a few minutes passed before the still standing Arisa turned to her and asked, “Then? What is it you want to talk about?”

Sitting by the pastel green sofa, Saaya couldn’t suppress a smile as she looked up to meet Arisa’s brown eyes.

“How welcoming of you. It’s always nice with you since you always know.”

“I mean why else would you stay behind?”

Her voice might sound exasperated, but Saaya knew Arisa merely mask her own blush. That part of Arisa was ever endearing.

“Have you found an apartment? Or at least look for one? Around the university.”

“Well, I have found several, I haven’t decided though,” The blonde girl folded her arms. Her eyes gleamed for some reason. “What’s with that? You find a place?”

“Well… I have found some too,” Saaya begin. She smiled. “But I was thinking, Arisa. Would you like to share the same apartment with me?”

“….. eh?”

Arisa stopped her movement. She blinked. Saaya quickly continued.

“I mean, if we shared the same apartment together, we can divide the rent between each of us. I am sure it won’t be as expensive as it would be if we live alone. I think we can also get a better room that way. Of course, I will not push you if you don’t want to.”

Arisa did not answer for a while. She just stayed there thinking with her arms folded.

“… why me?”

“Eh?”

“Why not Kasumi or the others?”

“Ah, well…” Saaya scratched her cheek with her index finger. “Kasumi has her relatives already, Rimi and Otae are quite far…. Besides, I think, it will be pleasant if it is with you.”

“………..”

Usually this would be the time where Arisa would say flurries of protests or annoyed sentences to hide her blush, but this time she just stood there with her face reddening. Saaya was honest, however. Out of the others, Arisa would be a comfortable companion. Arisa knew when to keep her distance and when to barge in. She was also a good talking companion. More than anything, Saaya just felt like she could trust Arisa in this. Even if Arisa refused, for example, Saaya understood Arisa would give a sound advice as well.

Her friend took a deep breath.

“… I am bad at waking up early.”

“I know that.”

“I can’t really cook that many dishes.”

“I know that too.”

“My taste is boring.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You sure about this?”

“I am sure we can work it out. If it’s Arisa, I am sure.”

Saaya smiled reassuringly and knowing this would definitely make Arisa answered her, she said, “I won’t force you. I want to know what you want.”

“..!!”

She definitely remembered the words she said herself a few months back. Her face reddening even more, she threw her face away. Frustrated noises pushed out of her throat before she finally answered.

“I-If you insist then I don’t mind.”

Always the ever kind Arisa.

“Thank you, Arisa.”

“W-why did you even say thank you,” Arisa furrowed her eyebrows but still unable to hide her blush, especially since Saaya looked at her knowingly. “W-What?”

“You’re kind.”

“N-NA!” Her friend drew back, then threw her face away again. “G-Grandma might feel better having me with someone anyway!”

“Uh-huh.”

“I-It’d be cheaper rent anyway, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“So better room too, right?”

“Uuuh-huh.”

“I-IF YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT I MIGHT RETRACT MY DECISION, OKAY!”

After then they looked for their apartment together, choosing the location, surveying rooms, and finding suitable rent. Saaya knew she was not wrong in choosing Arisa. Arisa turned out to be a very pleasant companion to discuss things with and somehow everything about their apartment were decided rather quickly. The room they found was rather cheap, with big enough living room for TV and sofa, and was just two station away from the university. They found they had a bit of space in the living room so Saaya asked for her digital drum kit space, whereas Arisa would keep her keyboard in her room. They decided a rather loose rule, such as always knocking before going in to each other’s room, or deciding who cook for the day every morning, who do the laundry, who throw the garbage, and so on. If things did not click well with any of them, they would talk about it—although such instances were really rare.

The more the days went on, the more Saaya realized she was definitely right to have Arisa as her roommate. Days with Arisa were comfortable, more than she thought it would be.

She could tease Arisa, but also could confide to her for many things. They relied to each other for different things and complemented each other’s weaknesses. Arisa’s assertiveness helped pushed Saaya’s often pragmatic approach while Saaya’s could take with strides things where Arisa usually started losing her fuse in. More than anything, however, having someone to share her living space instead of suddenly living alone, eased Saaya’s homesickness like no other. She often found herself teasing Arisa or bothering her in her room. Although Arisa would perhaps say one or two words of protests, she never really meant any of them. Arisa might not have been her siblings, but she sure had taken a space akin to a family member in Saaya’s life now.

* * *

“I can’t believe you are actually that close with her,” Midori said. She then smiled. “But I guess, from your story Ichigaya-san doesn’t seem that bad of a person.”

“She really isn’t. Let’s go out together sometime.”

“Is that fine though? She seems to hate me.”

“No way!” Saaya laughed. She tapped Midori’s shoulder. “Don’t worry! She would only bark at you even if she does.”

“… I will rethink that statement again, Saaya-chan.”

Saaya only laughed. Well, Arisa really had been disliked by her friends. Perhaps there was no turning that around, at least not now.

* * *

“Thank you for today! See you tomorrow, Saaya-chan!”

“Bye, Yamabuki! Careful on the road home!"

“See you!”

Done waving to the rest of the baseball club, Saaya put her hands into her coat. Spring dusk still came quite fast. The sky had already turned a dark blue. Taking deep breath, Saaya checked her smartphone before started to walk to her university’s back gate. Several LINE messages, but none too urgent. Tonight seemed like would be a good night.

“Arisa.”

Standing in front of the molecular biology building was Arisa, wrapped in soft colored duffle coat. Arisa raised her hand nonchalantly as always as a greeting.

“Yo.”

“Where’s Kasumi?”

“Let’s meet at the gate she said.”

“Aah~ she got hold up in class again?”

“She seemed to forget her art task again. I don’t know which this time. That Kasumi. When will she ever learn? Seriously…”

To say Kasumi did not change much… she really did not change much. Arisa’s exasperated expression made Saaya smiled. When Kasumi came, Arisa would start to scold her again. Being able to witness this kind of heartwarming interaction since high school, made Saaya felt she was blessed. The duo always brought smile to her face, even when things seemed to stall. Poppin’ Party had given her so much happiness, in and outside lives.

“Oh, by the way, Arisa.”

“Hnnn?”

“Here.”

Saaya took Arisa’s hand, then placed the cosmos hairpin she saw at the marketplace today on her palm. Arisa furrowed her eyebrows, taking the hairpin to examine it closely. It was quite dark now so light came only from the building behind her. Even if the color could not be seen clearly, they could still make out the shape.

“… This is…?”

“For you.”

“Eh?”

As expected, Arisa was perplexed. To be honest, Saaya really did not mean to buy the hairpin. However, their supplies shopping finished earlier than expected and Midori said, “Are you sure that hairpin will still be there when you return next? It’s kind of a good one.” Which made her finally went in again and bought the hairpin. They could buy matching pairs or something next time. Now, however, Saaya suddenly felt like giving Arisa something. Gratitude filled her heart all day especially after her talk with Midori.

 “W-What is this for? Is it some kind of special day?”

Arisa seemed to panic, afraid that she had forgotten something.

“Not really. I just feel like giving it to you. I found it in the marketplace when buying for supplies for the baseball club. I thought it will suit you.”

“E-eh?” Arisa blushed, looking at the hairpin, then Saaya, then back to the hairpin again. She repeated it again. “Really?”

“Yeah. Please keep it.”

“T-thank you.”

Still looking quite puzzled even if evidently pleased, Arisa bowed her head. Saaya replied with a light, “no problem”, where Arisa again asked, “really?” “really.” “… eh… thank you.” All over again. Arisa put in carefully in her pocket, still seemed uncertain on what to say. They then began walking, moving on from the topic.

“There seems to be a lot of other things in that shop. What if we go there next time together? Maybe we can find something that’d match everyone.”

“Ooh, that sounds like a good idea.”

“Yes. Let’s ask the others today. Maybe they have time to join in too.”

Whole members of Popipa would meet today for a quick training session then some girl night out. It had been so long since they all gathered in full members. Saaya looked forward to it very much, thus she had been in quite a good mood since morning. Arisa did not comment anything, but she had always been the one who noticed Saaya’s change of mood. They arrived at the back gate, where they stood under the lamplight to wait for Kasumi. Arisa took out the hairpin again, and looked at it more closely. Now its colors are visible under the lamp light—a soft purple cosmos.

“Saaya, this looks really good. For real.”

“I know! I don’t know if it’d be there another time so I bought it.”

“But really what for?”

As expected, Arisa was still curious about it. Saaya bend her body a little while putting both of her hands into her pocket, thinking of what to say.

“Today I talked about you with Midori,” Saaya began. Arisa seemed to look at her quite tentatively. “She wondered why I could be close with you. I told her about Popipa, then how you have helped a lot of things. I will not be here in this university, if you did not listen to me that day pushed my back. I also maybe won’t enjoy my university life the way I do if you are not my housemate. Those are just some of the things you have done for me. So… I thought, I should thank you.”

Arisa did not immediately answer. She blinked a few times at Saaya’s words. Saaya gestured at the hairpin.

“Thank you. For everything.”

It took a while for Arisa to answer. Her eyes merely stared at the hairpin, until she eventually clasped the hairpin in her hand and looked away with a blush.

“That’s quite something of you to just say embarrassing stuff easily like that.”

“Ahahaha… well that’s the truth.”

“Guh… really… I guess… you’re welcome?”

 _Arisa is being sincere. This is rare._ She seemed to really like it. That’s great… Which tickled Saaya to start teasing her again but somehow today, maybe it was better to leave the atmosphere all sweet and quiet just like this.

 “AH!! SAAYA!!! ARISAAA!”

“Oh, Kasumi!”

Briskly running towards them with guitar on her back, came Kasumi, who practically jumped at Saaya and bumped her in a big, energetic glomp.

“Saaya! Saaya! Saaya! Listen!”

“Yes, yes, you’re done with class?”

“Yes! I just collected it anyway!”

“Hhh… Kasumi, you… Is that really fine, honestly.”

“It’s okay! Besides! I can’t let you wait!! I mean, it’s Popipa training! Popipa training after a while! I mean—Arisaaa! Are you listening?”

“How can’t I? You’re practically shouting!”

“But you have to listen!!”

“I AM! Gosh, seriously.. wait—DON’T HUG ME! Let me go!”

“Ahahahaha, Kasumi, you’re choking her.”

The sky had turned completely dark, but now the cloud had parted and the stars could be seen again. Sparkling. Seeing Kasumi and Arisa bickering under the stars warmed Saaya’s heart and she could not repress a smile. After this they would meet Rimi and Otae at the station nearest to a studio they had booked. They would have their training again, perhaps on that new song Kasumi told them three weeks ago. Then they would go for a meal together, spending the night slowly with each other.

She was blessed. She was blessed with these friends, this band. Perhaps one day, not only to Arisa, she would definitely give her thanks to the rest of the band members as well. She was far away from her family, but this other family was here with her—the family that she chose to be with.

Speaking of family, their small apartment might have been a house, but Saaya sure knew what made it a home.


End file.
